But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
