your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
