Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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