Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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