Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We got so high we made milksteak
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
