So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
