I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
