I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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