the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
third nipple confirmed
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
