Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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