Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
