so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
