I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
