I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
