i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
