I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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