I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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