sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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