so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
