She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
