so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
