If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Operation Purity has been aborted
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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