i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
