Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
