She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
