The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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