She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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