No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
