if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
