So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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