I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
