my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My vagina just recognized that song.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
