so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
