I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
