awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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