Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
