We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
