16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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