i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
