Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
