Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
