Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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