She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
