i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
