i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She bit a glass in half.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
