Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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