It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
