Jerry, you need to find god
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
