My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
