Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
