if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
