The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
