I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
