I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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