I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
