Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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