im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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