D3 body, D1 cock
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
