Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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