This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can feel your judgement through the phone
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
