How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize