handjob tips. give me some.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
